COM Reconciliation

All this is from God,
who reconciled us to himself through Christ,
and has given us the ministry of reconciliation;
that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself...

and entrusting the message of reconciliation to us.

~ 2Corinthians 5:18-19

What is the Reconciliation Team?

The Reconciliation Team of the Presbytery of Cincinnati is a resource to churches within the presbytery who are experiencing conflict. The goal of the Reconciliation Team is to build up the body of Christ (Romans 12:4-5; 1 Corinthians 12:12; Ephesians 4:10-13) so that we may be reconciled to one another, as we are reconciled to God, in accordance with both scripture and with our church’s constitution (G-9.0601; G-9.0602; G-11.0502 (i); G-11.0502 (j)).

Through session and whole-church interventions and mediations, the Reconciliation Team helps churches explore and identify the roots of their conflict and helps them develop healthy ways of learning how to disagree with one another. The goal, always, is reconciliation—between the pastor and congregation, among the congregation, and with God.

As we all know, though, reconciling to one another in times of conflict is often easier said than done. We live in a world that’s become increasingly polarized, politically, economically, and religiously. We seem to be less concerned with what’s best for the greater good and more concerned with what’s best for self. Self-interest is, all too often, our mantra. As a result, conflict is often viewed in “either/or” terms, with no middle ground on which to focus on commonalities.

What is needed is a way to reclaim our center—a way to reframe the “either/or” way we tend to view conflict, and to put in its place a “both/and” way of resolving core issues to address the underlying needs of all. We need to find a way to lift up concern for others—not “self”—as our guiding principle in all aspects of life.

We need, in other words, to become reconciled with one another.

What is "reconciliation"?

“Reconciliation,” then, implies the restoration of a relationship—and, in fact, that’s exactly what it means in scriptural terms. Throughout the bible, the word “reconcile” refers to the transformation of an enemy into a friend (see, for example, 1 Sam 29:4; Matthew 5:23-24). Reconciliation, then, cuts to the heart of the Gospel message and how we are to live as followers of Christ.

In his Commentary on the Confession of 1967 and Introduction to The Book of Confessions, Edward A. Dowey, Jr. affirms this understanding of reconciliation as restoration of relationship, noting that reconciliation is central to Christian life (2 Cor. 5:19). He points out that God alone can effect reconciliation—a reconciliation that is always preceded by conflict but which, in Jesus Christ, also points to the promise of unity.

And so it is that we are reminded that reconciliation is not only the means to an end—our unity with God for all time—but is also the process by which this end is obtained—through living lives of reconciliation by which this unity is made possible.

What does the Reconciliation Team do?

This is the ministry to which the Reconciliation Team has been called. By talking with pastors and congregations—and, importantly, by helping them talk to one another—the Reconciliation Team seeks to identify and help remove the fear, anger, and anxiety that often accompany conflict, so that all parties are better able to hear the Holy Spirit guiding them to a new hearing and understanding of God’s Word.

Conflict affords us with a wonderful way of identifying and resolving our differences by hearing how the Word of God speaks to us through the voices of others—especially, perhaps, those voices with whom we disagree. Successful conflict resolution can ensure that that different voices and perspectives—including God’s—can safely be heard. This can open us up to the Holy Spirit and, ideally, help us mature spiritually in Christ. The Reconciliation Team seeks to provide a safe venue in which the Word of God may prayerfully be discerned by all.

The goal of the Reconciliation Team, then, is to guide participants through a process in which they agree to discern, together, how God may be calling them to live together in relationship. This requires willingness on the part of both parties to change—to see that the ways in which they are currently interacting are not working, and to help them explore new ways of interacting that, ideally, will allow each of them to grow in the ways in which God may be calling them to grow. Evidence of this growth, then, would be seen in the ability of the parties to learn how to successfully be in relationship with one another—in other words, successful reconciliation would result in restored relationship.

It should be noted, however, that not all conflicts are reconcilable. There are times, for example, when justice demands that one or both of the parties change before reconciliation can take place. And, if the parties are unwilling or unable to change in the ways that the Committee on Ministry recommends and/or the Book of Order mandates, then reconciliation in terms of restored relationship may not be possible.

At that point, the best possible outcome may be the creation of an administrative commission to assist the parties in understanding the changes that need to be made to resolve the conflict, with the goal being eventual reconciliation through the joint efforts of COM cluster and the Reconciliation Team. COM may, however, determine that dissolution of the relationship between the parties is needed in order to protect the health and well-being of the church, as well as the parties themselves.

In any event, it is up to the Committee on Ministry to recommend the most appropriate course of action to the presbytery in any given situation.

Who may request assistance?

The assistance of the Reconciliation Team may be requested by the following:
1. Moderator of the Session
2. Installed elder currently serving on Session
3. COM cluster
4. COM
5. General Presbyter
6. And, as always, COM is open to communication at all times with the ministers, elders who are commissioned as lay pastors, elders who are members of sessions, sessions of the presbytery, and Certified Christian Educators within the bounds of the presbytery (G-11.0503).

What issues does the team address?

Types of issues for which the Reconciliation Team may be able to assist:
1. Conflicts between and/or among staff
2. Conflicts between congregation and Session
3. Conflict between congregation and pastor/staff
4. Issues related to, but not limited to, delegation of power, worship, or transitions

Contacts

To engage the services of the Reconciliation Team, please contact the Rev. Rhonda O'Reilly (chair, Committee on Ministry) or the Rev. Jim DiEgidio (general presbyter, Presbytery of Cincinnati).